A person is seeking advice on how to deal with intrusive thoughts that arise when performing acts of worship, causing anxiety and hesitation.
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1 Answer
Peace be upon you. The issue you raised requires us to distinguish between two cases:
1. The first case: If we are dealing with someone who suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), they may experience excessive anxiety in certain areas of their daily life, making it difficult and burdensome. In such cases, any advice provided here would not be a remedy for this condition, and it is advisable to seek help from a mental health professional or to educate oneself on the matter to manage it independently, which is often not impossible.
2. The second case: If the situation is not as described in the first case, but rather involves general anxiety about the matter, we can focus on some helpful and sufficient guidance:
The thoughts you entertain regarding any matter are among the most significant factors that shape your feelings towards it, thus influencing your actions. For instance, if you think there is a snake behind you, this thought instills fear and prompts you to flee, regardless of whether the snake actually exists. In your case, you repeatedly start and sometimes abandon your worship due to the anxiety of it being insincere (riya). Therefore, it is essential to clarify the concept of riya and distinguish between real and imagined riya.
Riya is when a person performs an act of worship with the intention of being praised by others, seeking a place in their hearts. However, if during an act of worship a thought arises questioning whether you are doing it for the sake of others, and you do not intend that, then this thought does not invalidate your action. The difference between intention and mere thoughts is clear, and such thoughts do not nullify the act of worship. Refer to the scholars' writings on this matter regarding the invalidating riya.
Abandoning an act of worship due to these thoughts is a form of whispering from the devil. The devil either wants you to perform acts for show or to abandon them out of fear of showing off. Do not pay attention to these thoughts; seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil, and proceed with the recommended acts to become accustomed to drawing closer to Allah, even if it is in front of others.
Be aware that riya can stem from various causes, including the desire for reputation, fear of criticism, and greed. You can protect yourself by addressing these issues, which often relate to a fragile understanding of monotheism. Believing that Allah is the one who unites hearts will lead you to realize that any action you perform, unless Allah wills for people to love you, will not benefit you. Hearts are in Allah's hands, and He is the one who unites them. How can you achieve your desires if they are in Allah's hands while you oppose Him?
A little reflection can change thoughts, and when thoughts change, feelings change, leading to changes in behavior, if Allah grants us success.
All praise is due to Allah, who is not praised for anything disliked except Him.
May you be successful in all good.