Thoughts of Atheism

Question

In a certain phase of my life, I doubt that I held a belief in my heart regarding the non-existence of God. I did not express this denial out of fear for my family, and then I forgot about it as if nothing had happened and continued with my religion. At that time, I had atheistic thoughts and imagined scenarios, such as: 1. What if I became an atheist? What would my family's reaction be? 2. What would my family's reaction be if they knew I was an atheist? I'm not sure which of these I imagined. Years have passed since this issue, and I remembered it today. What if I have apostatized? If your answer is that I have done nothing wrong, is it possible that I have apostatized? Am I only a Muslim outwardly and an apostate in reality on the Day of Judgment?

Answer 1

Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings.

Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Sistani (may God protect him):

Merely thinking about atheistic matters does not lead to apostasy or disbelief. However, one who denies a necessity, like the prohibition of drinking alcohol, is considered an apostate, as this implies a denial of the Prophet's (peace be upon him) message regarding its prohibition from God. However, for the effects of apostasy to be applied, one must have reached maturity, possess full intellect, and act with intention and choice. If someone is coerced into apostasy, it is considered void. Similarly, if someone is unaware, distracted, joking, or speaks out of anger that overwhelms their self-control, or if it is due to ignorance of the meaning, it does not count as apostasy.

Source: Minhaj al-Salihin, Vol. 3, Foods and Drinks, Non-Animal, M 926 + Inheritance, Disbelief, M 967

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Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Khamenei (may God protect him):

Merely thinking about atheistic matters does not lead to apostasy or disbelief. However, if a Muslim renounces belief in God and the Prophet (peace be upon him) or denies a necessity of Islamic faith, and this denial pertains to the message or involves denying the Prophet (peace be upon him), then they are considered an apostate and impure. However, simply neglecting prayer, fasting, and other obligatory acts does not constitute apostasy or disbelief. As long as their apostasy is not established, they are treated like other Muslims. For a ruling of apostasy, maturity, intellect, choice, and intention are required; thus, the apostasy of a minor, even if they are a teenager, or a mad person, even if they are in a phase of madness, or someone coerced, or actions done without intention, such as joking, being distracted, or fainting, do not count. If someone acts in a state of overwhelming anger where they cannot control themselves, they are not ruled as apostate.

Source: Educational Message, Purity, Impurities (2) + Tahrir al-Wasilah, Inheritance, Inheritance Barriers, Disbelief Types, M10 + Hudud, Other Punishments, Apostasy

May you be successful in all good.