The Islamic Perspective on Viewing Between a Young Man and Woman Before Marriage

Question

This Q&A addresses the concept of 'Shari'ah viewing' between a young man and woman who are considering marriage. It outlines the guidelines and restrictions that should be observed during this process. [AR_ID:5869]

Answer 1

Peace be upon you.

Ayatollah Khamenei and Ayatollah Sistani (may Allah protect them):

Firstly, as long as there is no valid marriage contract between the young man and woman, they are considered non-mahram (strangers) to each other. Therefore, he should treat her as he would any other non-mahram woman.

Secondly, it is not permissible to speak with her in a way that incites desire or raises the fear of falling into sin.

Note: Falling into sin refers to committing any wrongdoing and is not limited to adultery.

Thirdly, it is not permissible for the woman to speak in a way that incites desire or to soften her voice in a suggestive manner.

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Ayatollah Khamenei (may Allah protect him):

Fourthly, if expressing love leads to the fear of falling into sin or results in harm, such as if they converse and the content is forbidden or incites desire, or is intended for pleasure and suspicion, it is not permissible. They must adhere to Shari'ah guidelines.

Fifthly, a man who wishes to marry a woman may look at her, provided that it is not for the purpose of pleasure, even if he knows that looking at her will inevitably lead to that. He must also have a reasonable expectation of gaining insight about her, and it must be permissible to marry her at that time (not someone who is already married or in mourning). It is advisable to limit the view to her face, hands, hair, and attractive features, although it is stronger to allow looking at her forearms and other parts of the body except for the private areas. It is preferable that this is done through thin clothing. Additionally, it is advisable to limit this to when he specifically intends to marry her and not when he is generally considering marriage. He may look again if he did not gain sufficient insight from the first look.

Ayatollah Sistani (may Allah protect him):

Fourthly, it is forbidden to express or show love towards a non-mahram.

Fifthly, a man who wishes to marry a woman may look at her attractive features such as her face, hair, neck, hands, forearms, and legs, and this does not require her permission or consent. However, it must not be for the purpose of sexual pleasure, even if he knows that looking at her will inevitably lead to that, and he must not fear falling into sin as a result. Additionally, there should be no impediment to marrying her at that time, such as her being in mourning or being the sister of his wife. He should also not have prior knowledge of her situation and must have a reasonable expectation of her acceptance; otherwise, it is not permissible. It is strongly advisable to limit this to when he specifically intends to marry her and not when he is generally considering marriage. He may look again if he did not gain sufficient insight from the first look, and the woman may present herself to him if he requests it, but she should not adorn herself in a way that is not permissible outside of the context of Shari'ah viewing.

May you be successful in all good.

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Source:

Ayatollah Khamenei (may Allah protect him): 1, 2 + Special Inquiry + Liberation of the Means - Marriage - Its Etiquettes and Laws - M28

Ayatollah Sistani (may Allah protect him): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.