Peace be upon you. The door of repentance is open for anyone who turns back to Allah. Allah, the Exalted, says: "O My servants who have believed, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins; indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." This verse is comprehensive and includes all sins, whether major or minor. Allah also says: "And when My servants ask you concerning Me, indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be guided." The only exception is for those who die as polytheists, as Allah states: "Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills." This does not mean that if someone associates partners with Allah and then repents, Allah will not accept their repentance; rather, it refers to those who die in a state of polytheism. Therefore, Allah forgives all sins, and regret over a sin is itself a form of repentance. Allah knows the heart of His servant and understands their innermost thoughts. If you sincerely repent, Allah will accept your repentance with His mercy and compassion.
As for what you perceive as polytheism or worshipping others besides Allah, seeking intercession from the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the Ahlul Bayt (peace be upon them) is not polytheism. It is merely asking for their intercession to fulfill needs and alleviate hardships. Anyone who calls upon them knows that they worship only Allah and that only Allah can fulfill their requests. They are merely intercessors. Allah and His Messenger have guided us to seek the intercession of righteous servants among the prophets and the appointed ones, as He says: "O you who have believed, fear Allah and seek the means of nearness to Him."
In some narrations, it is mentioned that the intended means is Amir al-Mu'minin Ali (peace be upon him). When the Shia call out "O Ali," they are indeed seeking intercession through him due to his high status and closeness to Allah. When they say "O Ali," they are asking for his intercession with Allah because of his esteemed position.
As for the scholars and religious authorities, we refer to them because a person can either discover the truth themselves or consult experts in that field. For instance, if someone is afflicted with an illness, they can diagnose and treat it through studying medicine. However, if they cannot do so, they must refer to medical experts who are more knowledgeable about diagnosing and treating illnesses. Similarly, in the field of religious jurisprudence, a person can either discover legal truths themselves by becoming a jurist or, if they cannot, they must refer to experts in that field, which are the scholars and religious authorities. This is not considered worship but rather a rational approach.
Regarding obsessive-compulsive thoughts, please refer to the following questions:
- Question 1710: How do I know if I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies?
- Question: How to deal with obsessive thoughts about purity and impurity?
May you be successful in all good things.