A person shares their struggles with their parents, who have not been supportive throughout their life. After getting married, they face difficulties due to their parents' interference and financial issues. They seek guidance on their obligations towards their parents, especially in light of their parents' behavior and the challenges they face.
[AR_ID:2020]
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1 Answer
Peace be upon you.
Before addressing the legal ruling regarding supporting parents, it is essential to highlight the importance of treating parents kindly. It is emphasized that one should not harm them verbally or physically, even if they are unjust to their children. The text states (Even if they strike you, do not rebuke them and say, 'May Allah forgive you.') If a father mistreats his children, the children should not respond in kind as much as possible, especially when he grows old, weak, and needs their support. This is a test from Allah, and for those who are patient and forgive, it is a matter of great resolve.
Ayatollah Sistani (may Allah protect him):
Parents have the right to receive support from their children, and the obligation to support a relative is conditional upon:
1) Their poverty, meaning they do not have what they need for their livelihood, such as food, clothing, shelter, etc. It is not obligatory to support someone who has their basic needs met, even if they are considered poor by legal standards.
2) The ability of the supporter to provide for them after taking care of their own needs and those of their permanent spouse. If someone has enough for themselves and their spouse, they are not obligated to support their relatives unless they have surplus.
3) Inability to earn a living. If someone is capable of earning a living suitable for their situation but chooses not to for comfort, they are not entitled to support.
Source: Minhaj al-Salihin, Vol. 3, Issue 440 + Issue 446 + Official website.
Ayatollah Khamenei (may Allah protect him):
The obligation to support relatives is conditional upon three criteria:
First: Poverty, meaning the relative must be in need and unable to provide for themselves. It is not obligatory to support someone who can meet their own needs.
Second: Inability to earn a living. If someone is capable of earning but chooses not to for comfort, they are not entitled to support.
Third: The supporter must be financially capable after taking care of their own needs and those of their spouse. If they have enough for themselves, they are not obligated to support their relatives unless they have surplus.
The support for oneself takes precedence over that for a spouse, covering basic needs and appropriate clothing. Any surplus should be directed to the spouse first, then to parents and children.
Source: Fiqh al-Wali: Rules of Supporting Relatives (2/3)
May you be successful in all good.