Peace be upon you. I have a question. I am trying my best to monitor myself, for example, I try to avoid backbiting, lying, and other sins. However, my problem is that I lack humility in prayer and in any religious acts like reading supplications and the Quran. What bothers me even more is that I cannot cry over the sufferings of the Ahlulbayt (peace be upon them) or out of fear of Allah. It is known that a hard heart is a result of sins. I am trying very hard not to sin, so why am I unable to cry? This really hurts me because I feel sad when I listen to the gatherings, but unfortunately, I cannot cry. When I see someone crying intensely over the tragedy, I envy them a lot. May Allah bless you, and I ask for your prayers.
[AR_ID:1244]
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1 Answer
Peace and mercy of Allah be upon you,
To begin with, as you mentioned in your question, the dryness of tears is a sign of a hard heart and its distractions. Therefore, we should not refrain from accusing ourselves of shortcomings. The issue is not merely about committing sins; a person may not commit sins for a certain period but may not have a focus on the hereafter, instead being preoccupied with permissible matters without utilizing their days for what they were created for. Alternatively, the reason for not committing sins may not be due to self-control but rather because opportunities did not allow for it. Thus, they do not perceive the beauty of obedience, or they may have a sin they have not repented from, which prevents them from shedding tears. The reasons are many and varied. To address this issue, the following steps can be taken:
First - Renew sincere repentance by taking some time alone with yourself to renew your repentance to Allah from all past sins. Proceed through the stages of sincere repentance by accounting for the rights of others and Allah, addressing them through performance or compensation, and making a firm intention to obey while reading supplications and prayers of repentance. You can refer to the details of this in this question:
Second - Turn to Allah, asking for the purity and safety of your heart, that He grants you this. In some supplications, we say, "And help me to cry for myself." Every blessing is a success and a gift from Allah, and He is the guide and the one who grants success. Therefore, it is fitting for us to turn to Him with this request.
Third - Know that it has been narrated that if you cannot cry, then pretend to cry. That is, try to make yourself cry or remember something that saddens your heart and makes you cry, and then pray afterward. By doing this, you soften your heart and teach yourself this level of purity. If you long to cry in supplications but cannot, before you start praying, remember something that makes you cry, such as imagining the death of a close person and their departure from this world. You will find softness in your heart, and then you can begin your supplication. To not be surprised by this, we mention authentic narrations regarding this:
In a reliable narration:
- "From Ahmad ibn Muhammad, from Uthman ibn Isa, from Ishaq ibn Ammar, who said: I said to Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): Can I pray and desire to cry, but tears do not come? Sometimes I remember some of my deceased relatives and feel emotional and cry. Is this permissible? He said: Yes, remember them, and when you feel emotional, cry and pray to your Lord, Blessed and Exalted."
This indicates the desirability of encouraging oneself to cry, even by remembering those who have passed away among one's children, relatives, and loved ones, as well as what has been lost from wealth and the calamities that have befallen them.
In another authentic narration:
- From Muhammad ibn Yahya, from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn Isa, from Al-Hasan ibn Mahbub, from Anbasa the worshipper, who said: Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him) said: If you do not have tears, then pretend to cry.
In a reliable narration:
- From Ibn Fadal, from Yunus ibn Yaqub, from Said ibn Yasar, the seller of the Sabri, who said: I said to Abu Abdullah (peace be upon him): I pretend to cry in my supplications, but I do not have tears. He said: Yes, even if it is like the head of a fly.
Pretending to cry means encouraging oneself to cry and striving to achieve it as mentioned. It is also said that it means to show crying and to resemble those who are crying in appearance, which is also good, for whoever resembles a people is one of them. The first interpretation is more apparent. Al-Jawhari stated in the correct: Pretending to cry means to feign crying.
Therefore, we advise you to follow what we have mentioned, and the steps are available to you at any time. Allah is the bestower of blessings.
May you be successful in all good.
Footnotes:
(1-3) Al-Kafi (Islamic edition), Vol. 2, p. 483